Forceful consumption of canine rubbish

If you're tired of the drama, I have a suggestion.

17:31 on 17/01/2011

At the same moment this photo was taken, I received this email from her spouse: "Didn't I tell you to leave Nicole alone? You fucked with the wrong person's wife."

Smash cut to an hour later, she's gone and I read the email for the first time.

Me: Hey Floyd we've got a problem
Her: What's up?
Me: We can't be friends apparently so... yeah
Her: What?
Me: Email.
Her: What are you talking about?
Me: Check your email.
Her: Did Josh send it
Don't respond to him... Yeah I came home and saw something I emailed you from my phone... I guess he's been snooping through my stuff.
Me; FUN!
Me: What's going to happen? What was said?
Her: He printed it and I guess he left... Well I understand if you don't want to talk to me anymore. Which I know that's what is going to happen.
Her: I think I'm going to kill myself
Me: I sent it to you
Her: yea I got it... Later.
Me: Later? What's going on?
Her: Ummm yeah I'm pretty sure were getting a divorce....sooo.... yeah
Me: What was said in our exchange?
Her: I haven't talked to him. All I told him was you had nothing to do with what was going on. That everything was my idea.
Me: but the email he printed?
Her: It was the email I sent you that said how I missed you and how daft punk reminded me of us... Taht one he managed to find it somehow
Her: Fuck I'm sorry you've had to deal with sad.... I won't talk to you anymore just to give you some relief from these problems you shouldn't have to deal with. Sorry and good luck to you.
Me: Are we bad friends?
Her: Huh?
Me: I seem to cause a lot of grief
Her: No it's me that brings it upon myself... Not you
Me: If this is really good bye, you've been a wonderful friend and I love you champ. Sorry today was shit, sucks to end on a low note. Don't lose your dinosaur. And if you could do me a a favor, rock the fuck outta those drums Dale!
Her: K, i love you too... Sorry I made your life a living hell lately. Don't delete the pics... Bye.
It's a lose lose for me I got nothing really.... I'm on my own now.
Me: You didn't. I won't. You wont lose you're a champ

Her self-defeatist diatribe continues on through the night. Around 2200, she drops it and starts trying to get seductive by sexting photos à la: 1, 2, 3.

I am just a man.